Showing posts with label love and relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love and relationship. Show all posts
Age and Change
My 24th birthday is around the corner. I’m getting old day-by-day. Is there any inevitable event such as aging and change? Aging and Change has been constant in our lives. You change as you grew old, you jive into new principles and you learn to be more open. I was reflecting on the important things that had changed in my life. Firstly, I’m more mature in taking life decisions. Secondly, I’m more mature on handling relationships be it in family, workplace, friendship and to my long-term relationship with Marko. On the physical appearance, I think my body figure had matured and bloated a lot. Now, I can face different sets of people at all sorts of ages, with different personalities and have a coffee conversation with them. Then, I realize there were some things that should’ve NOT change or rather should have change to improve. Firstly, I spend less time visiting the Church to offer my prayers. Secondly, I’m forgetting how to enjoy life to its fullest as I’m always preoccupied with a lot of things in mind. Most importantly, some part of our relationship have changed. Maybe it’s me who have change or only because that at our age we need to make some priorities in life. I know I should not cling too much on the past… But then I just miss the old us. Careless, insanely in-love, more kisses, more hugs, more endearments… (why am I writing about this???) - I just miss the old times. Maybe we just outgrew those things because we are getting old. Now, I should try to outgrow this feeling. Again, for the end time… I just miss the old times….
SMS from my Dad says "USE YOUR HEAD"
I was obedient since I was young. I strictly follow the rules even if it means not having the freedom to enjoy your childhood, make some friends in the neighbor. My parents are not the supportive ones.
For my dad, he's working abroad so even though he wants to, I understand that he won't be able to make it. As for my mom, she's not the stage mother type. Even though I competed declamation and perform an acting script on stage she was never there. I learned to boost my self-esteem alone and fix myself independently. My siblings was never an exemption too. I know they also felt the same way I did.
It doesn't mean that they don't love us though. Let's just say they never experienced it either from their parents which of course is our grand parents. It doesn't also make them less as a parent to us. Maybe, they just lack on that aspect of parenthood.
To cut my long drama short. This morning on my way home because I slept on my boyfriend's house, I received a text message from my dad saying he's not happy about it that I violated his trust. This one struck me when he said... "USE YOUR HEAD".First of all, before I got permission to sleep over in my bf's house. Since I'm around a conservative country with old fashioned norms. Definitely, this kind of action is not right. I've been a good daughter since I was born. I never break any rules. I'm sick of being the nice daughter. I'm tired of proving it to them every now and then.
My boyfriend Marko, and I have been together for almost 6 years now since college and until now after graduation. I know what I'm doing and I've never been happy like this for the entire 20 years of my life since I met him. Marko, was the only one person who made me feel so special. He patched those missing pieces when I wanted support from my parents.
Right now, I'm thinking of silly things like asking my boyfriend right at this very moment to get married. What do you think? I'm also praying right now that my dad won't get mad at me. I hope I still have his trust. I hope he realizes that I'm using my brain as well as my heart. I wish I can just cry in front of this people.
For my dad, he's working abroad so even though he wants to, I understand that he won't be able to make it. As for my mom, she's not the stage mother type. Even though I competed declamation and perform an acting script on stage she was never there. I learned to boost my self-esteem alone and fix myself independently. My siblings was never an exemption too. I know they also felt the same way I did.
It doesn't mean that they don't love us though. Let's just say they never experienced it either from their parents which of course is our grand parents. It doesn't also make them less as a parent to us. Maybe, they just lack on that aspect of parenthood.
To cut my long drama short. This morning on my way home because I slept on my boyfriend's house, I received a text message from my dad saying he's not happy about it that I violated his trust. This one struck me when he said... "USE YOUR HEAD".First of all, before I got permission to sleep over in my bf's house. Since I'm around a conservative country with old fashioned norms. Definitely, this kind of action is not right. I've been a good daughter since I was born. I never break any rules. I'm sick of being the nice daughter. I'm tired of proving it to them every now and then.
My boyfriend Marko, and I have been together for almost 6 years now since college and until now after graduation. I know what I'm doing and I've never been happy like this for the entire 20 years of my life since I met him. Marko, was the only one person who made me feel so special. He patched those missing pieces when I wanted support from my parents.
Right now, I'm thinking of silly things like asking my boyfriend right at this very moment to get married. What do you think? I'm also praying right now that my dad won't get mad at me. I hope I still have his trust. I hope he realizes that I'm using my brain as well as my heart. I wish I can just cry in front of this people.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)