SMS from my Dad says "USE YOUR HEAD"

I was obedient since I was young. I strictly follow the rules even if it means not having the freedom to enjoy your childhood, make some friends in the neighbor. My parents are not the supportive ones.

For my dad, he's working abroad so even though he wants to, I understand that he won't be able to make it. As for my mom, she's not the stage mother type. Even though I competed declamation and perform an acting script on stage she was never there. I learned to boost my self-esteem alone and fix myself independently. My siblings was never an exemption too. I know they also felt the same way I did.

It doesn't mean that they don't love us though. Let's just say they never experienced it either from their parents which of course is our grand parents. It doesn't also make them less as a parent to us. Maybe, they just lack on that aspect of parenthood.

To cut my long drama short. This morning on my way home because I slept on my boyfriend's house, I received a text message from my dad saying he's not happy about it that I violated his trust. This one struck me when he said... "USE YOUR HEAD".First of all, before I got permission to sleep over in my bf's house. Since I'm around a conservative country with old fashioned norms. Definitely, this kind of action is not right. I've been a good daughter since I was born. I never break any rules. I'm sick of being the nice daughter. I'm tired of proving it to them every now and then.

My boyfriend Marko, and I have been together for almost 6 years now since college and until now after graduation. I know what I'm doing and I've never been happy like this for the entire 20 years of my life since I met him. Marko, was the only one person who made me feel so special. He patched those missing pieces when I wanted support from my parents.

Right now, I'm thinking of silly things like asking my boyfriend right at this very moment to get married. What do you think? I'm also praying right now that my dad won't get mad at me. I hope I still have his trust. I hope he realizes that I'm using my brain as well as my heart. I wish I can just cry in front of this people.